Original Pen Date: 4.2.2019
I am sure in this moment that I am not alone, however the guilt and heartache I feel could surely convince most otherwise. At this moment, I feel just like King David in 2 Samuel 12, right after he had Solomon’s mother, Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah killed on the front lines of battle. I won’t give away much more than that because if you’re not familiar with this passage of scripture, I encourage you to please take a moment right now to Read 2 Samuel 11-12 and then rejoin me.
While reading this story, I was amazed at how God’s Word calmly yet firmly convicted me. There was no trial, no public flogging in the town’s square. Just me in the solitude of my bedroom (my make-shift prayer closet), and my sin recently committed, yet long ago put out of my mind, seeking the Lord’s wisdom and will oblivious to the iniquity still residing deep within my heart.
I, like David, have strolled down the path of sexual sin, and unlike most sins, sexual immorality is an act, as Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 6:18, that is against one’s own body, and that all other sins are committed outside the body. Erotica, fornication, lust, pornography, covetousness, masturbation are all sins that directly defile our bodies, the temple of the Holy Spirit, by altering our heart posture and distracting us of our knowledge of God and our true identity (v. 19). Rather than defile, we are called to honor God with our bodies because we are not our own, in fact, we were bought at price graciously paid for by Jesus at Calvary (v. 20).
I was in a similar situation as David, in a hurry to cast judgement on others, who, when I stop for a moment, are more like me than I’m willing to admit (2 Samuel 12: 5-7). And having sinned and already asked God for forgiveness, yet still having to face the inescapable consequences…but glory be to God….for I still LIVE! God spared my life when He had every reason to let me die for what I have done, for ALL the ways in which I showed utter contempt for the Lord (v. 14).
As followers of Jesus, we are called to set our minds on things above (heavenly things) because when we accept Christ, we die to this world and our true life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:2-3, AMP). And we are called to “put to death and deprive of power the evil longings of [our] earthly bod[ies] [with its sensual, self-centered instincts], immorality, impurity, sinful passion, evil desire, and greed, which is [a kind of] idolatry [because it replaces your devotion to God]” (v. 5, AMP).
Let Us Pray
Lord give me the strength to bear the consequences I am justly due, and when those consequences have ended, which I have faith that they will (2 Samuel 12:20), I will do like your servant David and get up from my mourning and worship you Lord for my life and for all of the blessings you have given me in this life. Lord, I also pray that you would help me to fix my mind’s eye on You and heaven and all that eternal life with You has to offer. Let me not get blindsided here on earth by any form of sexual immorality, lust or evil that lingers in my heart from past transgressions. I bind right now in the Name of Jesus anything prideful in my life, that sets itself up against the knowledge of You (2 Corinthians 10:5) and in faith knowing that while I am penning this prayer, you have already heard me and you are already answering my call for help (Isaiah 65:24). Create in me a clean heart O God and renew in me a steadfast spirit. Thank you for not removing your Holy Spirit from me. Please restore unto me the joy of my salvation and a willing spirit (Psalm 51:10-12). In Your Son Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.
Retreat @ Home🏡
Retreat Season was always a special time for me in college. Whether I was involved as an attendee or a planner, retreats were so exciting. Time was carved out for God, and it gave us a wonderful excuse to escape campus. There’s nothing like silencing devices, surrounding oneself with nature or just silence, and convening with God.
As of late, I’ve been so busy. I’ve allowed my time with God to get pushed aside. From the loss of a dear friend, to upcoming life changes (starting medical school!), stress has suffocated me to the brink of cracking. Before that I was going through the motions, so this busy season pushed me past my already shaky routine with God.
So I’ve declared a retreat and fast with God, so that way we can rebuild. I’m sick of not wanting to get out of bed. I battle anxiety, and must be proactive in my walk with God because I know I am perceptible to emotional instability and periods of lowness.
Today’s retreat will focus on choosing joy and instilling healthy and spiritually sound habits to facilitate joy. I’m currently in what should be the happiest time of my life, so let’s find the joy in where I am with God because all I have is all I need, and where I am is holy. Here is holy.
“Blessed is she who believed that He would fulfill His promises to her.” -Luke 1:45
How to DIY a Retreat @ Home🧎🏾♀️
- Bible (favorite version, Study Bibles & commentaries are welcome!)
- Journal & Writing Utensil(s)
- Quiet space
- Calming Music
- Water/Favorite Healthy Beverage (let’s skip the mimosa for now)
- Healthy Snacks
The Run Down
- Find a space that is comfortable and exudes peace and joy
- Since we’re at home PJs or sweats are always welcome
- The bed is not recommended due to the increased sleepiness. (It’s giving the disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane 🙃)
- Lay out of all of your supplies within arms reach of your chosen spot
- Candles, natural light, fresh air and essential oil diffusers can also help set the atmosphere
- Opening Prayer🙏🏾
- I love using the PRAY method, but pray however you feel comfortable
- PRAY = Praise | Repentance | Ask | Yes
- Don’t forget to pray for others (your friends, family, significant other, community, church, leaders, school, work, your state, the nation, world, etc.) Nothing is off limits here.
- Consider journaling your prayers
- If able, pray on your knees to invoke a spirit of humility. If unable, you can always assume a humble heart posture.
- Bible Study📖
- Choose your favorite Bible Plan, Sermon Series or Book in the Bible to focus on here.
- During my DIY @ Home Retreat, I watched a sermon from Pastor Michael Todd at Transformation Church. I also did a deep dive into my year-long reading plan from Bible Project.
- Be sure to spend time here exploring what the Holy Spirit is saying to you.
- Worship 🙌🏾
- Worship is our weapon!
- Crank up your favorite worship playlist and welcome the Holy Spirit in to your space and heart.
- Check out the playlist I used below…
- Repeat as long as the Spirit allows 🔁
- Closing Prayer
- Thank God for everything that has taken place throughout your Retreat @ Home
Let Us Pray
Please forgive us for how sinful we’ve been in doing Your will. Pride has led to molding due to inactivity. Refresh us O God and renew in us an upright spirit. Restore unto us the joy of our salvation. We pant and thirst for You. Pour Your Spirit into us; clean us anew. Reshape us Master Potter, we are clay in Your Mighty Hands. Shine Your everlasting light onto every dark space within us. We am Yours. You are welcome in the space of our hearts. We submit to what You’re doing here. Have Your Way LORD in our lives, hearts, souls, minds, emotions, thoughts, habits, shortcomings, sin, fears, disappointments, questions, doubts, pain, sorrows, guilt, shame, our everything. We are Yours. You are Holy and because we’re with You, Here is Holy. We praise You in advance for Your Surgery. Transform us!
In Jesus Name, Amen.
Peace & Love,
Hey friends! Long time no read lol.
Welcome back to the space that is CamilleSpeaks. Take a look around. While some things may look different, it’s still the CamilleSpeaks blog that you know and love.
CamilleSpeaks didn’t disappear forever. As the creator, I simply needed to take some much needed personal time. I’m in a different space now in more ways than one, and I’m ready to get right back to business.
I have learned an infinite about myself and who God is over the course of the past 2 years. I cannot wait to share!
I hope you and your loved ones are blessed and well. And I’ll leave you with this…
However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen,-1 Corinthians 2:9, NIV
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived—
the things God has prepared for those who love him—”